I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
