I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nicole vs. Life
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
