why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
They are going to name an STD after you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize