Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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