i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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