i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am available for nakedness
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
