even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
