WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think my moral compass just broke
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