This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize