Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's just like the Real World with babies
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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