i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
