69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
