Is it normal to miss your booty call?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize