youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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