I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
