I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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