I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
