Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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