Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
