After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
