ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
