Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
