oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
this is an emotional support booty call
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
