just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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