WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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