Are we in a gay sports bar?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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