I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
