Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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