shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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