i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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