i just had sex bonerless
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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