I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
