It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
