haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize