ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
