Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
