awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
