she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
