I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
