After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
