Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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