I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize