she smelled like a LAN party
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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