I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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