i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize