This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
