idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
