she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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