This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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