I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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