the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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