i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
