I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
