you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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