peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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