she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
