Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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