fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
